


SWB ;)

by RonniRotten



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Innuendo, M/M, Swearing, do not copy to other sites
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-24 16:03:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20361253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RonniRotten/pseuds/RonniRotten
Summary: Remus gave Virgil a nickname years ago, and now everyone gets to hear all about it, and have a little fun with it, except for one jealous princey.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _Inspired by [this](https://youtu.be/l0PAIBIGE0U) Game Grumps video_

It was movie night, and all the sides were lumped on the couch in a cuddle pile, except for Virgil and Remus—the latter was willing himself away from the warmth to get to the bathroom, a difficult feat to be sure. He was squirming, bumping into the armrest where Virgil was perched and fuming. 

"Get your bitch ass to the toilet already!" Virgil hissed at him. A little anxiety could go a long way, and little mister every-kink needed permission. Remus beamed at him and finally got to his feet. 

"Anything for the sexy widdwe baby!" he chuckled and ran once he saw the fire in those eyes. Virgil would get back at him later, when the rest of the mind wasn't staring at him.

"Is he still on with that?" Deceit grumbled and curled into Patton's side further. Papa Bear was warm. 

"You mean that wasn't random?" Patton questioned with his arms wrapped around Logan and Deceit, curling his fingers through the latter's hair.

"It's not. Some might call it a running joke. The only joke running at this point is Remus." Virge scoffed.

"I would like to hear the story behind it." Roman mused and paused the movie. He peered up at Virgil expectantly from his bed of laps. Of course the prince would take over all the legroom and look cute doing it.

"Agreed. I too would like to know the origin of such an uncharacteristic nickname." Logan spoke up, more aware that his spooning partner was missing, making Virgil roll his eyes. 

"It was a few years ago. It was movie night." Virgil shrugged and eyed the others–especially Deceit–warily.

"We just finished watching Sleepy Hollow, and we were just talking shit about Roman—"

"Bu-twuh-bhiihhh-vuuuhh?!" the prince sputtered indignantly, flipping onto his front to glare at Virgil.

"Easy there, Princey. As I was saying, we were talking shit and I can't remember what Remus said, but I definitely remember defending your prissy ass." Virgil said, earning another round of offended Princey noises. He smirked at the flustered Prince, teasing him, daring him to say anything. He was too cute when he was mad.

"And then he said it was your dick talking." Deceit mused wickedly, earning a soft giggle from Patton. Deceit quieted him with a quick peck on the cheek. Virgil flushed and shook his head, causing Roman's expression to shift. He was not about to admit to that in front of everyone.

"Yeah, that. And he told me that Princey would be easy to seduce. Since it was Dukey talking, well, he wasn't the best source, but his suggestion was simple enough—to work on Patton." 

"What was it?" Patton asked, incredibly intrigued, eyeing Deceit questioningly.

"He wanted me to say, 'I'm a sexy widdwe baby' and 'make it  _ work _ .' And I said no, like a reasonable person." 

"And refusing his request only led to him nagging you, correct?" Logan asked and adjusted his glasses. He knew the duke's M.O. to a 'T' in every aspect of his existence. Virgil called it Logan having a crush, or a squish and a smush. 

"He's never been interested in me like that, but he's always talking about doing terrible sexual things to me. And he kept pushing me to say it." Virge groaned and shifted at the hip to face the other sides.

"'C'mon, say it,'" Virgil did his best Remus impression–and it scared Roman in its accuracy–and threw in a few shimmies for emphasis "'Say I'm a sexy widdwe baby!'"

"At this point I got dragged into the mess." Deceit chimed in.

"'We're all friends here, Scare Bear, just do it. Say I'm a sexy widdwe baby!'" Virgil mimicked Remus once more before slumping over again. He was almost glad Logan wasn't correcting his pronunciation and portrayal, and almost glad Patton looked angry—peer pressure like that was bad. Roman was invested in the story, Virgil assumed the twin wanted dirt on his brother, nothing more. Everything was okay.

"I can only say 'no' so many times before I snap. And I caved, big time."

"Tell them exactly what you said." Deceit goaded. 

"There's no pressure." Logan added when he saw Patton's face fall. 

"'I'm a sexy little baby.'" Virgil mumbled and trailed off, perfectly portraying the exact same mood as the night it happened.

"That's all?" Roman pressed, utterly let down by the anticlimactic end. Virgil glared at him.

"No, just like you Remus wasn't happy. Duce kept pushing. 'Louder! Louder!' And I did." Virgil hissed, ignoring the hurt that came and went across Roman's face.

"Pay attention boys, you won't see this again in a million years." Deceit hummed, and he was being fully honest. 

Virgil scowled and took a deep breath. He could do this even with Roman and the others watching. He leaned over, resting his arm on the back of the couch and blinked a few times to center himself. With lidded eyes and a coy pout, he brought his free pointer finger to his lip and stared at the only side who wouldn't react, Deceit.

"I'm a sexy widdwe baby!" he cooed in the sultriest tone he could muster. He fluttered his lashes and blew a kiss before reverting back to his usual demeanor. 

"And everybody loves it! Remus won't let it go!" he groaned with a bright blush, throwing his arms up in exasperation. He didn't dare look at the others. He didn't want to see them—not Deceit's smirk, or Logan's puzzled but curious gaze, or Patton's complete shock and mild intrigue. He especially didn't want to see Roman's reaction, which was pure awe and enamor trapped in his wide brown eyes.

"You know I won't!" Remus laughed and skipped up to the couch with a wide grin and green hands—it was from the soap, a measure set by Logan to ensure he washed them regularly. He was about to take his seat when he turned toward Virgil with a wicked glint in his eyes, and his hands on his hips. 

"And there's something you should know!" he giggled and popped his hip. He looked Logan dead in the eye instead and flashed a flirty smirk. 

"¡Soy un baby cawiente!" he purred and pretended to lick his finger. With a sweeping gesture he brought it to his butt and hissed for emphasis. Logan was red-faced and short circuiting. Remus broke into a fit of laughter—mission accomplished! 

"'Caliente?' You're a spicy little baby?" Patton asked, utterly confounded. 

"It means 'hot' not 'spicy,' Padre." Roman said in a daze, still gawking at Virgil, who was concerned with the malfunctioning nerd.

"Oh! That makes sense!" Patton giggled, earning a sappy look from Deceit. 

"Yo, L, you good?" Virgil questioned poor Logan. Logan nodded stiffly and shifted in his seat. 

"It's late, I think it's time for me to go to bed." Logan answered and stood up, "Good night." 

"Good night, baby, stay sexy!" Remus cooed with the same coy tone as before, fluttering his lashes and and wiggling his fingers. Logan sank out immediately instead of walking to his room. 

"I'm gonna follow him." Remus declared.

"Don't harass the poor thing!" Deceit scoffed, "He can't handle any more." 

"I'm going and you can't stop me—unless you say it too!" Remus countered. Deceit shrugged and clambered into Patton's lap, essentially knocking Roman to the floor. He wrapped his arms around Patton's neck and winked at him, signaling this was all for show and he had a part to play. Patton got the message 

Roman huffed and took Logan's seat in protest and glared daggers at the snake, who had the most obnoxious bedroom eyes and the most alluring smirk plastered on his face. Remus was watching intently, even Virgil wanted to see what would happen.

"I'm a sexy widdwe baby, but just fow Daddy." he purred. Patton grabbed his chin and smirked.

"That's right, and my good widdwe baby deserves a reward." Patton mused low in his throat. Deceit shivered as they sunk out together, planning on watching another movie and cuddling so the four oblivious sides (well three and Remus) could sort things out—finally.

"Damn!" Remus laughed, "I better go check on Logan!" 

"I thought you said you weren't going to." Roman pouted. He was so close to the Knight of his dreams and yet he was so unprepared to be alone with him after his little stunt. 

"I changed my mind!" Remus shrugged, "And I just had a brilliant idea!" 

"Logan can handle you, and I don't want to know." Virgil grumbled. 

"Well, later broski!" Remus hummed just before slipping into that teasing tone, "Bye, bye, baby, be gentuw wif my stinky big brofer!" 

"No pwomises, baby. Bye bye." Virge jeered and winked, earning a laugh from the duke as he sunk out. 

"Ugh!" Roman groaned and flopped backward, staring at the ceiling, "how does he do it so easily?!" 

"What?" 

"Remus just talks with you and flirts like it's nothing! He makes it look so easy!" 

"We were friends for a long time before you and I were on good terms. He had to work to get to that level." 

"I know, but I can't help it if I can't stand it." 

"Ro, if this is a twin thing, keep me out of it." 

"It's not!" Roman huffed and crossed his arms, "It's a you thing!" 

"You wanna explain that or do I get to worry about it for weeks?" 

"I just want to be closer to you, more than anything, but I know how I acted and I would never expect you to return the sentiment in full." Roman pouted and dropped his arms in defeat. Virgil scooted down next to him, blushing yet again. Maybe he could do it this time. 

"Hey," he said, taking Roman's hand in his own, "You don't want to have the same relationship with me that Remus does, trust me on that." Roman looked at him with the saddest gaze imaginable, urging him to continue. 

"I don't want to have the same thing with you either—the threatening banter, the dark and gritty brainstorming–you aren't him and I want to be closer to you in a different way."

"How so?" Roman asked, so open and free of judgement that any fears Virgil had were silenced.

"I want to fall in love with you." Virgil said softly and averted his gaze, "I have feelings for you, heck I have your name doodled in the margins of my journal like a middle schooler." 

"Virge—" 

"What I'm trying to say is, I really like you and I want you to be happy and you deserve to know this." 

"First you take him by the hand, then you compliment him meaningfully. Lead into the topic slowly to give him a chance to avoid it. Tell him how you feel, and let him know that he doesn't have to feel the same for you to care." Roman mumbled to himself, "Let him choose and be ready to accept the outcome no matter how much it hurts." 

"Roman?" 

"Virgil, the question on the tip of your tongue, ask it." 

"Do you want to be my boyfriend?" Virgil breathed. Roman smiled. 

"More than I want to breathe." Roman answered and kissed his cheek. Virgil hummed appreciatively and leaned into him.

"Always going for the grandest possible action." 

"You know I have to. I'll keep you safe from the horrors in the dark." 

"And I'll be sure to keep you safe from Remus." Virgil said with a smirk, "No one ways a finguw on my sexy widdwe pwincey." 

"You're killing me." Roman scoffed, "Keep going."

**Bonus! **

"It took you long enough." Logan mused, curled up on his bed in his pajamas.

"I had to fend off Papa Bear and Mom to avoid suspicion." Remus shrugged and flopped next to him, aware that his antics were pointless, "So what deadly space stuff are you showing me tonight?"

"Calvera, the hottest white dwarf star discovered, found in the Ursa Minor constellation." 

"That's not deadly." Remus pouted and fluttered his lashes pitifully. Logan snorted and shook his head. 

"It's like you, un baby cawiente inside a sexy widdwe baby." Logan jeered, mimicking the tone from earlier. 

"Is that an invitation?" Remus asked, wiggling his eyebrows and mustache. Logan shook his head.

"If you can wake me up at 4, yes. But I warn you I am thoroughly exhausted."

"Chawwenge accepted, baby!" Remus cheered and kissed his nose, resisting the urge to bite it. Time to go to sleep with his Logibear!


	2. Bonus Pining

_ "First you take her by the hand, then you—" _

_ "Oh. my. God!"  _

Roman was curious about what Anxiety would have said next, if he hadn't been switched with Valerie. Anxiety had the right idea in the end, at least for Thomas, but he wanted to know how the emo would go about wooing the man of his dreams, he doubted he would ever be so lucky to be on the receiving end of that. The attempt couldn't be any worse than Logan or Patton. Roman just so happened to stumble upon such a scene...

The castle in the imagination was split into two distinct sections, with only one atrium at the entrance to serve as a neutral ground. Roman usually hung out in that area when Patton visited, but that didn't stop Remus from stopping by or using it to entertain his guests. Roman never understood why anyone would want to visit Remus, except Deceit, but as he peeked in from his stairwell he understood who and why. And he hated it.

"Scare Bear wh—?" Remus questioned the emo standing in front of him, shaking slightly but standing with resolve.

"Listen," Anxiety cut him off, "I think you're smart, funny, and creative. You amaze me and I don't know how to handle it. I know that I don't act like I care and that you annoy me, I'm so mean to you." 

"I know you don't mean it, my Worrying Wuzzle." Remus breathed and ran his thumb over the emo's knuckles. 

"Yeah, I don't mean the mean shit, but this? I mean every word. You amaze me with your dazzling smile and your quick wit. When you look at me, you make my heart race and every time you say something nice to me I get weak in the knees." Virgil continued, holding Remus' gaze. 

Roman leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, careful not to make a sound when he closed the door. It was as if his heart was shattering, slivers of it falling away with each passing second, welcoming a flood to spill from his eyes. So what if Anxiety liked Remus? They were on good terms, unlike he and Roman. 

It was at that moment Roman realized he had feelings for the so-called antagonist. Feelings that would never be returned flooding his system. The pain only worsened as their voices carried through the door.

“What are you getting at?”

“What I’m saying is that I like you, in a romantic sense, and before you say anything, know that I want to be happy and I want to have you in my life as a friend if nothing else.”

Roman bit his lip and bolted. He knew exactly how Anxiety would woo his soon-to-be lover: First you take him by the hand, then you compliment him meaningfully. Lead into the topic slowly to give him a chance to avoid it. Tell him how you feel, and let him know that he doesn't have to feel the same for you to care. Let him choose and be ready to accept the outcome no matter how much it hurts.

It was agony.

Unaware of the distraught prince, Remus pulled away from Virgil, trying so hard not to laugh. He failed miserably, cackling like a hyena.

“What?!” Virgil huffed and crossed his arms.

“You--You really know how to inflate an ego! Oh man! Roman would have jumped you by now and I don’t want to get that into character!” Remus wheezed.

“Glad you’re having fun there. And to think I was going to help you get the nerd.”

“I’m sorry! I can’t help it! I’m not Roman and pretending to be him seriously never ends well!”

“At least you tried. Can I get any feedback that might be useful?”

“Nope!” Remus squawked before falling over in a fit of laughter. Virgil sighed, he was almost certain no matter what he said, Remus would laugh and Roman would reject him. It wasn’t exactly the prettiest acquaintanceship, Virgil knew that, it was partly his fault. But maybe someday. Hopefully before his best friend nailed the nerd, because that would be embarrassing. 


End file.
